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Wolfish Delight

~ A peek into my mind ~

Spending three years in sixth form and why that’s okay

So as some of you may know, I failed chemistry in year 12 so I took a different subject and am now staying an extra year in sixth form. It seemed like a big deal when happened but I’m glad it did because it allowed me to find a new course that I’m mega excited to study at uni, I’ve never truly been this excited about any of the other courses I was considering. Plus I’m far more capable of possibly getting high grades this time!

While it took my mum a while to come round and not be as disappointed as she was in me, she eventually did and for the most part my dad’s been ok with it too. So now we’re at a good place.

Last night my parents went to this birthday party and an old friend/my past tutor was also there. Upon finding out about me staying an extra year she made comments about how I could’ve worked harder or changed the subject earlier on. I mean it’s none of her business really and only I know how much I struggled both in school and with my mental health that year, easily the worst year in my life atm. Plus add in the fact that I didn’t have my own room in the months leading up to my exams due to construction so my bed was set up in the living room….

It just frustrates me how people look down on you if you’re staying an extra year, as if I’ve just completely screwed up my life. I’m going to uni one measly little year after my peers and in the grand scheme of things, I doubt it’s going to matter all that much.

There’s so much pressure on teenagers to stay within these strict time limits, forgetting that we also do have the rest of our lives to accomplish things. Some people realise what they actually want to do in their 20s, 30s, 40s. It’s unfair to expect 18 year olds to pick their careers and map out our entire lives when only weeks before you’re making us ask permission to go to the toilet and our opinions are disregarded because we’re only teenagers.

Even the word teenagers has negative connotations.

I’m not ashamed about staying an extra year and I’m sure as hell not ashamed for failing chemistry, that shit was hard and I tried my best given the situation. I think people need to mind their own business, I know what I’m doing with my life and I’m excited! At the end of the day, that’s all that matters to me.

Until next time 🙂

A teeny tiny back to school haul

So I love stationary but I also don’t like having things I don’t use, so I was very selective about what I needed to buy for this year. Bearing mind this is my third year in sixth form (cri) so I’ve already got folders and pens etc etc

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Paper

It’s sixth form, you need paper. I was only going to buy two refill notebooks as I only have two classes this year so one for each made sense. Just so I wouldn’t have the same issue I had last year where I had loads of papers and not knowing which went where. You might think I could just figure it out but both of my BTEC classes have the same teachers and some of the content overlapped so I was always in danger of being grossly unorganised if I wasn’t careful.

Anyway my point was that I was gonna get 2 but there was an offer on so it was more value for money for me to buy three so now I’ve got a spare for extra paper! (The offer was firstly that they were reduced from £2.49 to £1.99, and then it was 3 for £4.99, from WHSmith)

Notebooks

I don’t usually get notebooks because I use folders but I’m doing a research project in one of my units this year so my teacher told us we needed to buy some to use as lab books, so I did. (A4 £2.75 and A5 £1.75 from Wilkos)

Mechanical pencils

I don’t like how quickly pencils get blunt and sharpening is a hassle so I wanted to get mechanical pencils for this year. Plus everyone seems to have the same type of pencil so people keep stealing mine ¬.¬ (Courtesy of my bf, but £1 from Wilkos)

Planner

Ah of course, my trusty planner! I’m sure I’ve said this before but for the love of god do not get a spiral bound planner. It will end up falling apart by the end of the year and it’ll drive you nuts! Maybe you’re thinking I bought a cheap one and that’s why, oh no I spend £8 on one from WhSmith when I started year 12. £8! Just for a year of misery because it kept getting caught on things in my bag and unravelling.

I spent £1 on a case bound planner from poundland for year 13 and it was still perfectly in tact at the end of the year and well into the summer holidays before I threw it away a few weeks ago.

So this year’s one is from The Works, case bound and beautiful. If anyone was wondering I usually get a day per page set up, in sixth form there’s usually a lot of details to write down about assignments and work so you’ll need the space. I’d recommend the works, especially for planners they’ve got a bunch of nice designs this year! (£2 or £3 from The Works)

That’s all folks! I did say it was very small!

Getting my tattoo part 3| TATTOO DAY

Greetings! So at last, the day has come, I have got a tattoo! And if you follow me on social media then you know that I haven’t stopped talking about getting my tattoo for the last 24 hours, the worst is yet to come my friends.

So I got my tattoo today, as you may have gathered, and the first question I’ve been asked by friends is did it hurt? And my answer is fuck yes it hurt like a bitch, the outline did at least. The first part was bearable and then she moved onto the thicker lines and that was just beginning to cross the boundary of what was bearable and what wasn’t. Once the outline was done with, the rest was smooth sailing. I’ll insert a picture below, I’ll admit I wasn’t a huge fan of it when she showed me it on paper but I really do love how it turned out.

I also bought an aftercare balm from the tattoo shop, as it was £3 and I had heard good things about it. After the tattoo was done she cleaned it up, applied the balm and wrapped the tattoo in clingflim. Which I have since removed, cleaned my tattoo, applied the balm and then rewrapped the tattoo as instructed by my artist. She said that I could take it off tomorrow and leave it unwrapped from tomorrow onwards, which is nice because I don’t have to be at the charity shop with cling film on my arm….

Also, I’ll go back and correct this, but in a previous post I said that the total would be £55-£65 because of the booking fee but I was wrong because the booking fee was just deducted from the tattoo fee so I only paid £15 today which meant the total came to £35! Quite reasonable I’d say.

Honestly that’s all I’ve got for this post today, I’m thinking about doing an aftercare post to conclude this lil series so look out for that!

Also, side note, I mentioned this on Twitter but I’ll be moving over to my new blog on the 23rd of September (the autumnal equinox 😁) I’ll post the link closer to the time as I currently have it on private while I set it all up.

Until next time 🙂

Getting my tattoo pt 2| The consultation

Hello everyone! Bit later than I expected to have this post up but here it is.

So as I said in my last post, I had my consultation on the 8th August.

After she was done with the tattoo she was working on, she came and sat with me. She asked me to remind her of what kind of tattoo it was that I wanted and whether I had any reference pictures. So we sat and discussed my tattoo and she told me how much it would be, £105. Which I was kinda shocked by, I mean I knew it would be expensive but wowee. She must’ve noticed in my expression because she explained to me why it’s that expensive.

Essentially it’s because I wanted a band to go around my arm along with the lotus on the front, the band it the complicated bit. Applying the stencil would take ages to get right which would then take it from a minimum price tattoo to an hourly rate tattoo. The hourly rate for this shop is £70.

So she offered me an alternative, I could just get the lotus done on it’s own (which would be a minimum price tattoo) and then come back to get the band done once I’ve saved up more money. Which I agreed to, because boy am I not ready to part with £105.

In the end she estimated my lotus tattoo should cost about £35-£45. Which I feel is feasible.

Now, one thing I didn’t account for or hear about during my months of research is a booking fee. It differs from shop to shop I imagine but for this one it was £20 and non refundable (and also deducted from the total fee of the tattoo.) It’s just to make sure that if you end up cancelling the appointment, the artist hasn’t completely wasted their time and energy planning out a tattoo for you.

I, of course, didn’t bring the money I had set aside towards paying for a tattoo which was exactly £20. So I had to drop it off after my driving lesson that day because I wanted to get it all sorted asap because I knew if I didn’t then I’d end up procrastinating.

Right so that’s it for this blog post, I can’t wait to get back to you with MY ACTUAL TATTOO POST!!

Until next time 🙂

Getting my tattoo pt 1| Preparation

I thought I’d do a step by step break down of my tattoo process! This turned out to be way longer than I expected so I’m going to be breaking it down into multiple blog posts, this one is going to be about everything in the lead up to my tattoo consultation.

So I’ve wanted a tattoo since I was about 16, it was just an idea at first and I didn’t really do anything in preparation for it. Then last year I made a Pinterest board to amass types of tattoos I liked the look of, just to get some kind of idea of what I wanted. The closer it got to my birthday, the more I cracked down and was more specific with the kind of tattoos I saved. Once my birthday hit I started properly researching everything and anything to do with getting a tattoo, it’s just how I work.

I saw everywhere (read: youtube) that I needed to look into tattoo artists and actually look at their work, to gauge whether their style of work is what I wanted. So I found a bunch of tattoo artists near me and started searching for portfolios on their websites, for the most part, artists would have their own ig page so I often looked through there and followed the ones I liked and if they didn’t have any kind of portfolio then they were struck off my list.

I eventually circled back to a tattoo shop sorta close to my house and found an artist there that had some really nice work. After watching many videos about how to properly email a tattoo artist, in true Kirithika fashion, I wrote out and sent the artist an email. She got back to me pretty soon after and we arranged a date and time for a consultation. So I have my tattoo consultation on Wednesday 8th August!

I emailed her way back in June though. I did things so far in advance because for one, I didn’t know how busy she’d be and I wanted to get my tattoo done during the summer holidays and two, I was just really excited tbh…

Seeing as I’m pretty sure of what I wanted, I suppose I could’ve had a walk in tattoo but I just didn’t like the idea of that seeing as it’s my first tattoo. Plus it just feels a bit rude to me, to just turn up. Also there’s no guarantee that you’d even be able to get it then.

Plus, knowing me I’d have a bunch of questions and a consultation is better place to ask all the questions rather than when she’s setting up the damn machine…

So that’s where I’m at currently! I’ll have another post up after my consultation, just to explain how it all went. I think it’ll probably be shorter than this one!

Until next time 🙂

It’s finally the holidays!

I mean for me anyway, my friends left school three weeks ago after their exams and the same could be said for the people who did their GCSEs. So it’s finally summer, for me. And as much as school isn’t all that great now that I’m stuck with the year 12s, I somehow felt apprehensive about the summer holidays. Most likely because I’ll be stuck looking after my brothers while my parents are working, and me going out is not a regular occurrence what with having strict Asian parents who feel that going out more than once a week is excessive.

But! It means I have more free time to be a bit more creative. I’ve been wanting to get better at sewing and hopefully get a sewing machine soon and sew my own skirts seeing as finding skirts that are a size 14 (with a smallish waist), with a nice pattern and also being affordable is apparently asking for too much. I also got watercolours from my bf for my birthday months ago, which I’ve dabbled with a little, that I want to experiment with a bit more and get somewhat better at.

Also, of course, I want to blog more too! I have a bunch of ideas written down but the majority of them focus on my upcoming holiday to Edinburgh. I am very excited to pack for that, more so than actually going there haha, but I’ll try to do a pack with me post or something?? Most likely with lots of pictures but we’ll see!

Slightly more boring perhaps but I’d also like to start looking into content for next year because I have a lot of assignments next year alongside a research project so I think it’d be a good idea to read ahead.

See I’m saying I wanna do all these things but will I have the motivation to do them? Stay tuned

Until next time 🙂

Job prospects, driving and blogging for fun|Where I’m at right now

I felt like writing a blog post but I couldn’t think of an “idea” so I thought I’d just talk about how my life is going at the mo.

After spending almost two years trying to get a job, I decided that it would be a good idea to try and get some retail experience in a charity shop. I wasn’t getting jobs because I was a total noob with very little relevant work experience. I kinda wish I did charity work sooner but ah well. Saying that I did try when I was 14 but the places I went to were full or they wanted me to be 16. So I’m starting at a local charity shop today, I went in to speak to the assistant manager yesterday and she was so nice so I feel way less nervous about going in! It’s a PDSA charity shop & I love animals so it all works out perfectly.

In other news I’ve had to postpone my driving test again because my instructor doesn’t think I’m quite ready yet. I’m kinda sad but also really relieved too because I don’t think I’m quite ready yet tbh. I don’t see the point in rushing into it as that’s going to be a waste of money and I might as well wait so that I do my test when I’m ready and feel as though I can actually pass.

I’ve got one week left of school and I cannot wait for it to be over because I’m so tired of it. I’m going to Scotland during the holidays so I’m hoping to write some posts about that, hopefully I’ll manage to write a couple and not just one because I have a lot of ideas. I’ve also made my tattoo consultation appointment so hopefully if that all goes well I’ll be getting a tattoo within the next few weeks as well which is quite exciting!

Blog wise, I’ve decided that I won’t be renewing my blog hosting in November and I’ll be reverting back to being a WordPress.com blog. I was quite on the fence about this decision until recently, I’m now excited about going back to being a non self hosted blog! I’ll feel much much happier while blogging and I’ve finally decided that my blog is 100% just for fun. No worries about growing my following or trying to make money from it all. If it happens by itself a few years down the line then great! But it’s no longer a priority. For this reason I also went ahead and deleted my blog ig, I made it because I thought that’s what bloggers had to do but not anymore!

I think those are the most interesting things that are happening at the moment so there we go.

Be sure to follow me on Twitter!

Until next time 🙂

Career plans and UCAS

So at the beginning of this week I had to go into school and start on my university application. It only took me two hours because I did all of this last year so I knew what to do, plus my form tutor has known me for years and is an absolute gem who let me leave early after I had done my draft of my personal statement.

While I have been researching universities for months now, full well knowing that I will be applying to them in Autumn, it was so odd sitting in my room and putting in all the uni and course codes. This time it’s real! I have applied to many things in my life, and I’ve been filling in forms for my family (and others!) for a long long time. But I have never felt the way I felt when I was entering all those codes while sitting on my bed, I found it hard to breathe and my heart was about jump out of my freaking chest. In that moment I couldn’t understand why, it’s not like I’m submitting it now!

But I think it was just the concept of it all, you know UniversityThe big thing that I’ve been building up to ever since I stepped into school. While it is still just education, it’s no longer “just school” where you see your friends everyday and your teacher will be reminding you about that piece of homework you need to hand in. You’ll be on your own effectively, and having to motivate yourself every step of the way.

While I seem like a nervous wreck about going to uni, I’m also really excited. In a way I’ve never really been excited about education before! I put that down to finding a course and career I’m really interested in. Like, really interested in. That course, ladies and gentlemen, is none other than Forensic science. That’s right, I wanna wander around crime scenes in a marshmallow looking hazard suit for a living. There’s more to it of course, but I’m dead excited to get started.

For this reason, and this reason alone, I’m incredibly grateful to year 12 me for failing chemistry AS. Because if I hadn’t I would’ve ended up applying to do forensic psychology. Which is ok I guess but by the end of exams I wanted to burn anything I owned that was remotely related to my psychology A levels. Can’t imagine I’d enjoy three years of degree level of psychology…

I also visited my local uni on a science trip and we spent the whole day in the building where all the practical stuff for my course would be taught. And the person leading the whole event was the person who teaches forensic science so :O While it isn’t my first choice of uni, I’m planning on having it as my insurance choice as the entry requirements are lower than the others and I would still enjoy going there.

Wow I wasn’t expecting this post to be this long…

Well I’ll try not to make it any longer! I hope this post was somewhat interesting, until next time 🙂

Your local bi gal

So I can’t remember if I ever gathered the courage to post it but I remember writing a blog post last year about being bicurious. It was just before I set up this blog so I’m not sure how many of you guys had read it, if I even posted it! But that was back in October 2017. Then after much contemplation, I realised I really was bi. Just before my 18th birthday no less, people on social media quickly found out because why not tell a bunch of strangers and internet friends?? They’re probably the most open minded people I will ever know.

I'm bi!

Telling people in real life though? That was a struggle. My boyfriend already knew because he was the one I discussed it all with to figure it all out and he was chill with it. I kept quiet about it for a while and then I decided I was ready to tell some close friends. I tried to do it in person but I’m sure we can all agree that would be terrifying. So I decided to go down the messaging route. It went well too! One guy was like cool and then two other friends just had a million questions about being bi and that was all.

Would I ever tell my parents? No, never. They don’t know I have a boyfriend and they’d be furious over that, I don’t need to also add that I have the hots for women. I’m good, thanks.

I just felt like pride month was the perfect time to write this post so here we are! I am open to doing a bi q and a post, leave me questions on twitter and I’ll compile them into a post or curious cat if you want to be anonymous!

Until next time 🙂

To think about nothing

Now you may be thinking what is this kid going on about, but just bear with me.

Recently I’ve come to realise that it’s rare for people in this day and age to just sit still and think about nothing, in other words meditation. While I don’t meditate everyday, I do sit with myself from time to time and just empty my mind.

And when I’m done, it truly feels like I’m waking up from a good nap. Not the kind that leaves you groggy and unaware of which decade you’re in.

You may think it’s useless to meditate because, who has the time? And there, in that question, is the reason why you should. You’ll make time to go to an event you don’t care about and to talk to that person that you really don’t like and yet, you can’t take 10 minutes out of your day to just… be?

We’ve all formed a dangerous habit of not allowing ourselves time to be with ourselves and now it’s become normal to be unable to be alone with your thoughts. It’s normal to scroll mindlessly through Instagram for hours and you feel as though your life just might implode if you can’t go on your phone.

But it’s not normal, your brain needs switch off time that isn’t just you falling asleep with stinging eyes after scrolling (again, aimlessly) through Instagram. You need to be actively allowing your mind to settle and to be able to gently pull it back on course when you start thinking about the homework you need to do or that form you need to fill out.

Social media, while useful at times, has made it far too easy to constantly be wasting time doing nothing productive while you tell me you cant spare 10 minutes to meditate and reflect on how you’re really feeling. During meditation you can allow yourself to become really aware of how you’re feeling and to check in on your body too. You’d be surprised how much you don’t notice in the hustle and bustle of life.

Maybe give it a try, and I mean an actual try not a half assed attempt at sitting still for two minutes then going on your phone. Put your phone on silent, get into a comfortable sitting position and let yourself be.

If you do try it, be sure to let me know how it goes!

Until next time 🙂