Sometimes, you just need to step back, from the hustle of life and the stresses of other people. Now I don’t know about you guys, but I get asked for advice. Less so now because I literally talk to about five people about things that go deeper than how my weekend was. By choice mind you, I don’t know how I managed it but I’ve shrunken my circle of friends and I’m more than satisfied with it. But before, I’d get questions from people I barely knew, they’d spill their most personal stories to me and ask me what they should do. And I’d try and help but I’m no psychologist, there’s no doctor patient confidentiality here. I felt compelled to help, because “how rude would I be if I didn’t?”
And after a while, it started to wear me down. I didn’t want to talk to certain people because “oh what are they gonna dump on me today?” Our conversations just became about their struggles, sometimes their own faults and they were just making the same mistakes over and over again. I have very little patience as is so imagine having to deal with someone coming back to you with the same issue because they couldn’t be bothered to change their ways. It was exhausting, and I was at a point in my life where I was already barely keeping my head above the water, I can’t hold other people up too! I have a select few people who I would gladly help. No doubt about it. They get me and my limits, I appreciate that.
But it’s not selfish to look after yourself, it has been pushed onto us since we could talk that we must put others before ourselves and we must be ready to help them at any point. But when you think about that, how is that even anywhere near healthy? I mean sure you shouldn’t be self-obsessed, but there’s a huge difference between being self-obsessed and making sure that your basic needs are being met. Both physically and mentally. I’m not saying don’t help people, I’m just telling you to be wary of when it gets too much for you and to be able to take a step back and not feel guilty about it.
Until next time 🙂