In one of my posts early last month, this one, I talked about how I have grown to be more positive over the years. I briefly mentioned how not gossiping about other people can really have an impact so I thought this week I’d go into more depth about it.
While I still think it’s healthy to vent to a trusted person about someone who has hurt you, I don’t think it’s healthy to continuously do so for a long period of time to just anyone who will listen. I’m SO guilty of this, I went on and on about a friendship break up I had for a year after it had happened and it took me a while to realise how unnecessary I was being. Instead of letting that wound heal I just kept opening it up over and over again. A key thing here is that no one told me I was being unnecessary, while I may have been repetitive it was still an interesting thing for people to listen in on. Everyone likes a bit of drama. It’s not like anything I was saying was new, people had heard it all before, there is only so much to a story and there’s no need to tire out all the details. The people I had this “break up” with were seemingly fine and carrying on with their lives. I just needed to get over myself. So I did, because there’s nothing left to talk about.
In general, being bitter about someone else’s life choices will rarely ever make yours better. Nor does it make you a better person. So what if that girl in your maths class like to sleep with a different guy every week? So what if that guy likes to be really extra with his revision? What does it even matter to you? If you spend all your time watching other people’s lives, you’ll just be wasting your own.
But, you can’t just gossip by yourself now can you? Watch what kind of people you hang around with, they’re the ones that influence you to bitch about people. Not just friends mind you, family too, my mum often talks about people negatively and I regularly have to call her out on it. Not that she enjoys it.
Something else I’ve noticed, it’s all well and good not talking smack about other people. But nothing will ever be more damaging than talking like that about yourself. People harp on about not talking about other people, but having positive self talk is the best thing you could ever do for yourself. If you start building this habit, it’s far less likely that you’ll be kicking yourself when you’re already down. Or alternatively, it’ll mean that you’re far less likely to take what bitter people say about you to heart.
Challenge yourself, maybe just for a day, or perhaps even a week, don’t allow yourself to say negative things about someone else or yourself. You’ll be surprised by how often you’ll catch yourself, I definitely was and still am. Do I still think these things? Absolutely! But there’s no real need for me to be giving off that type of negative energy. It’s not an easy thing to do but you’d be proud of yourself for trying!
Please do tweet, comment or dm me what you think of all of this! Have you tried this? Or, even better, are you going to give it a go?
Until next time 🙂