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Wolfish Delight

~ A peek into my mind ~

To think about nothing

Now you may be thinking what is this kid going on about, but just bear with me.

Recently I’ve come to realise that it’s rare for people in this day and age to just sit still and think about nothing, in other words meditation. While I don’t meditate everyday, I do sit with myself from time to time and just empty my mind.

And when I’m done, it truly feels like I’m waking up from a good nap. Not the kind that leaves you groggy and unaware of which decade you’re in.

You may think it’s useless to meditate because, who has the time? And there, in that question, is the reason why you should. You’ll make time to go to an event you don’t care about and to talk to that person that you really don’t like and yet, you can’t take 10 minutes out of your day to just… be?

We’ve all formed a dangerous habit of not allowing ourselves time to be with ourselves and now it’s become normal to be unable to be alone with your thoughts. It’s normal to scroll mindlessly through Instagram for hours and you feel as though your life just might implode if you can’t go on your phone.

But it’s not normal, your brain needs switch off time that isn’t just you falling asleep with stinging eyes after scrolling (again, aimlessly) through Instagram. You need to be actively allowing your mind to settle and to be able to gently pull it back on course when you start thinking about the homework you need to do or that form you need to fill out.

Social media, while useful at times, has made it far too easy to constantly be wasting time doing nothing productive while you tell me you cant spare 10 minutes to meditate and reflect on how you’re really feeling. During meditation you can allow yourself to become really aware of how you’re feeling and to check in on your body too. You’d be surprised how much you don’t notice in the hustle and bustle of life.

Maybe give it a try, and I mean an actual try not a half assed attempt at sitting still for two minutes then going on your phone. Put your phone on silent, get into a comfortable sitting position and let yourself be.

If you do try it, be sure to let me know how it goes!

Until next time 🙂

Growing to be more positive

If any of you had met me a few years ago, you would’ve labelled me a cynic. Which, believe it or not, was what I was going for. I wanted to be cynical, sarcastic, intimidating and seemingly unfeeling. All the things you would associate with the broody male love interest in a YA book.

I’m not entirely sure why I wanted to be like that, maybe it’s because I didn’t want to be anything like the more bubbly girls so I decided throwing myself onto the opposite end of the spectrum was the best idea. In my mind, being positive and kind meant you would easily get walked all over. Which of course, isn’t true.

So I spent up until I was about 15/16 trying to fit into this broody, angsty image of myself I had in my mind. I didn’t do very well. Then depression hit and I was not having a fun time, as you can imagine. Year 12 wasn’t any better because I was severely struggling to keep my head above the water. Then results day rolled around, I had unsurprisingly failed AS chemistry and it was the best thing that could’ve happened to me.

I feel like once I found out I failed chem, my mental health has only gotten better and I’m so much more positive than I have ever been in my life. Sure staying an extra year in sixth form isn’t ideal but it isn’t the worst that could’ve happened. I could’ve continued to struggle majorly with chemistry for another year, get bad grades, not get into the unis I wanted and end up in a much worse state of mind. Plus, having another year to think about my future and all has made me realise that psychology is not for me; I have no idea what drug I was on when I decided that was going to be a thing.

Being positive isn’t easy, but it’s worth the extra effort.

  • Try not to gossip (read: bitch) about people and see how your life changes.
  • Try to see the good in a situation, eg I failed chem but that means I don’t have to struggle through those lessons feeling useless anymore!
  • Stop comparing you, your situation etc to other people. Your story isn’t their story, get it together and better your own life instead of longing after someone else’s.
  • If you don’t need involve yourself in the drama then don’t, you’d be surprised how often you don’t need to

A favourite quote of mine is “Be better not bitter” because it’s simple and straight to the point. Being bitter isn’t going to get you anywhere, you’ll just be in the same place while everyone else who you’re so bitter about moves past you and onto a more successful life.

Growth is key in life. It doesn’t matter what age you are or how smart you think you are, you will always have some growing and learning to do.

Until next time 🙂