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Wolfish Delight

~ A peek into my mind ~

Growing to be more positive

If any of you had met me a few years ago, you would’ve labelled me a cynic. Which, believe it or not, was what I was going for. I wanted to be cynical, sarcastic, intimidating and seemingly unfeeling. All the things you would associate with the broody male love interest in a YA book.

I’m not entirely sure why I wanted to be like that, maybe it’s because I didn’t want to be anything like the more bubbly girls so I decided throwing myself onto the opposite end of the spectrum was the best idea. In my mind, being positive and kind meant you would easily get walked all over. Which of course, isn’t true.

So I spent up until I was about 15/16 trying to fit into this broody, angsty image of myself I had in my mind. I didn’t do very well. Then depression hit and I was not having a fun time, as you can imagine. Year 12 wasn’t any better because I was severely struggling to keep my head above the water. Then results day rolled around, I had unsurprisingly failed AS chemistry and it was the best thing that could’ve happened to me.

I feel like once I found out I failed chem, my mental health has only gotten better and I’m so much more positive than I have ever been in my life. Sure staying an extra year in sixth form isn’t ideal but it isn’t the worst that could’ve happened. I could’ve continued to struggle majorly with chemistry for another year, get bad grades, not get into the unis I wanted and end up in a much worse state of mind. Plus, having another year to think about my future and all has made me realise that psychology is not for me; I have no idea what drug I was on when I decided that was going to be a thing.

Being positive isn’t easy, but it’s worth the extra effort.

  • Try not to gossip (read: bitch) about people and see how your life changes.
  • Try to see the good in a situation, eg I failed chem but that means I don’t have to struggle through those lessons feeling useless anymore!
  • Stop comparing you, your situation etc to other people. Your story isn’t their story, get it together and better your own life instead of longing after someone else’s.
  • If you don’t need involve yourself in the drama then don’t, you’d be surprised how often you don’t need to

A favourite quote of mine is “Be better not bitter” because it’s simple and straight to the point. Being bitter isn’t going to get you anywhere, you’ll just be in the same place while everyone else who you’re so bitter about moves past you and onto a more successful life.

Growth is key in life. It doesn’t matter what age you are or how smart you think you are, you will always have some growing and learning to do.

Until next time 🙂