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Wolfish Delight

~ A peek into my mind ~

Don’t speak ill of others, or yourself

In one of my posts early last month, this one, I talked about how I have grown to be more positive over the years. I briefly mentioned how not gossiping about other people can really have an impact so I thought this week I’d go into more depth about it.

While I still think it’s healthy to vent to a trusted person about someone who has hurt you, I don’t think it’s healthy to continuously do so for a long period of time to just anyone who will listen. I’m SO guilty of this, I went on and on about a friendship break up I had for a year after it had happened and it took me a while to realise how unnecessary I was being. Instead of letting that wound heal I just kept opening it up over and over again. A key thing here is that no one told me I was being unnecessary, while I may have been repetitive it was still an interesting thing for people to listen in on. Everyone likes a bit of drama. It’s not like anything I was saying was new, people had heard it all before, there is only so much to a story and there’s no need to tire out all the details. The people I had this “break up” with were seemingly fine and carrying on with their lives. I just needed to get over myself. So I did, because there’s nothing left to talk about.

In general, being bitter about someone else’s life choices will rarely ever make yours better. Nor does it make you a better person. So what if that girl in your maths class like to sleep with a different guy every week? So what if that guy likes to be really extra with his revision? What does it even matter to you? If you spend all your time watching other people’s lives, you’ll just be wasting your own.

But, you can’t just gossip by yourself now can you? Watch what kind of people you hang around with, they’re the ones that influence you to bitch about people. Not just friends mind you, family too, my mum often talks about people negatively and I regularly have to call her out on it. Not that she enjoys it.

Something else I’ve noticed, it’s all well and good not talking smack about other people. But nothing will ever be more damaging than talking like that about yourself. People harp on about not talking about other people, but having positive self talk is the best thing you could ever do for yourself. If you start building this habit, it’s far less likely that you’ll be kicking yourself when you’re already down. Or alternatively, it’ll mean that you’re far less likely to take what bitter people say about you to heart.

Challenge yourself, maybe just for a day, or perhaps even a week, don’t allow yourself to say negative things about someone else or yourself. You’ll be surprised by how often you’ll catch yourself, I definitely was and still am. Do I still think these things? Absolutely! But there’s no real need for me to be giving off that type of negative energy. It’s not an easy thing to do but you’d be proud of yourself for trying!

Please do tweet, comment or dm me what you think of all of this! Have you tried this? Or, even better, are you going to give it a go?

Until next time 🙂

Growing to be more positive

If any of you had met me a few years ago, you would’ve labelled me a cynic. Which, believe it or not, was what I was going for. I wanted to be cynical, sarcastic, intimidating and seemingly unfeeling. All the things you would associate with the broody male love interest in a YA book.

I’m not entirely sure why I wanted to be like that, maybe it’s because I didn’t want to be anything like the more bubbly girls so I decided throwing myself onto the opposite end of the spectrum was the best idea. In my mind, being positive and kind meant you would easily get walked all over. Which of course, isn’t true.

So I spent up until I was about 15/16 trying to fit into this broody, angsty image of myself I had in my mind. I didn’t do very well. Then depression hit and I was not having a fun time, as you can imagine. Year 12 wasn’t any better because I was severely struggling to keep my head above the water. Then results day rolled around, I had unsurprisingly failed AS chemistry and it was the best thing that could’ve happened to me.

I feel like once I found out I failed chem, my mental health has only gotten better and I’m so much more positive than I have ever been in my life. Sure staying an extra year in sixth form isn’t ideal but it isn’t the worst that could’ve happened. I could’ve continued to struggle majorly with chemistry for another year, get bad grades, not get into the unis I wanted and end up in a much worse state of mind. Plus, having another year to think about my future and all has made me realise that psychology is not for me; I have no idea what drug I was on when I decided that was going to be a thing.

Being positive isn’t easy, but it’s worth the extra effort.

  • Try not to gossip (read: bitch) about people and see how your life changes.
  • Try to see the good in a situation, eg I failed chem but that means I don’t have to struggle through those lessons feeling useless anymore!
  • Stop comparing you, your situation etc to other people. Your story isn’t their story, get it together and better your own life instead of longing after someone else’s.
  • If you don’t need involve yourself in the drama then don’t, you’d be surprised how often you don’t need to

A favourite quote of mine is “Be better not bitter” because it’s simple and straight to the point. Being bitter isn’t going to get you anywhere, you’ll just be in the same place while everyone else who you’re so bitter about moves past you and onto a more successful life.

Growth is key in life. It doesn’t matter what age you are or how smart you think you are, you will always have some growing and learning to do.

Until next time 🙂

Reflecting on 2017

Hey everyone! I hope you had a happy Christmas, and if Christmas isn’t your thing then I hope you’ve been having a nice chilled week!

In an attempt to be positive, half way through this fairly miserable year I restarted an old idea of mine. Where I write on small slips of paper good things that happen throughout the year, put them in a jar and then I go through and read them all at the end of the year. Seeing as it’s nearing the end of 2017 I thought I’d share them with you guys, there aren’t as many seeing as I only started this in July and kept forgetting about it!

I do plan to do this again for 2018 and will definitely do a round up post this time next year!

Here we go, not even in chronological order:

  1. I passed my theory test for driving
  2. Still a vegetarian! (1.5 years and counting!)
  3. I have a cactus
  4. My skin has improved massively
  5. Have started getting into cruelty free makeup
  6. I got a new room
  7. I’ve started journaling
  8. My body confidence and general self esteem has improved a lot
  9. I cut my hair (12 inches!)  and donated it to charity
  10. My poetry has improved
  11. Started self hosting my blog
  12. Still going strong my bf <3
  13. Really started appreciating Tamil films, songs and the language in general. (Tamil is my ‘mother tongue’ if you were wondering)
  14. I’m a lot less stressed at school, and this year is going much better than the last

There isn’t as many as there usually would be but I’m still happy about this list. I hope 2018 brings even better memories than this year, for all of us!

I have one more post that falls perfectly on New year’s eve, so until next time 🙂

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